Copyright 1999 Michael A. Liem. All rights reserved.(CHORUS, RAPPED:)
Whatcha gonna do when you get in the woods?
(SOLO RESPONSE, RAPPED, SILLY:) We’re gonna shoot some film!
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) What will you shoot on that film?
(SOLO RESPONSE, RAPPED, SILLY:) Film, imbecile! Film!
(SUNG, HARMONY:)
Josh and Heather, (SOLO, SPOKEN:) (That’s me!)
and there’s Michael, our sound man Michael.
In the beginning we three film students
were bugging locals about weird legends.
We took cameras
and went walking . . . and kept on walking.
It’s times like these it sucks Mike tossed our map.
Seems like we’re moving but we’re just circling.
Life in danger,
We’ve been waking the wicked witches.
They’re making noises like children calling.
Leaving three stonepiles and stickfigure dollies.
No one can see.
Night is cloaking, cloaking our vision.
Quaking and shaking, like Neve Campbell,
Josh got things slimed on, don’t know their intentions.
Upon waking,
Josh was missing. We’re sure he’s missing.
What’s in those bundled twigs, was he harmed?
Is that him screaming when we call his name?
(SPOKEN: FEMALE NEWS REPORTER BROADCAST ABOUT THE INCIDENT, THE RECOVERED FOOTAGE FROM ONE YEAR AGO, SOME BACKGROUND ON THE LEGEND.)
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER’S MONOLOGUE:) I’m sorry .. I’m sorry ... I’m sorry ... I’m sorry
(REPEAT 4x)
(RAPPED, SILLY:)
Mike is in the corner, I receive a blow,
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film don’t show?
(SPOKEN, MALE VOICE:) Man, this house is creeping me out.
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film don’t show?
(SAMPLE HEATHER:) I’m sorry ... I’m sorry ... I’m sorry ... I’m sorry
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film don’t show?
(SAMPLE HEATHER:) I’m sorry ... I’m sorry ... I’m sorry ... I’m sorry(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) What’s that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(SAMPLE OF JOSH:) What the f*** is that?!!!
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) What’s that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) What’s that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(SAMPLE OF MIKE:) Turn the *** camera off!!!
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) What’s that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(REPEAT 4x)
(SUNG IN HARMONY:)
If you see them,
Please remind them, the three filmmakers,
That this “The Blair Witch Project,”
It’s, like, a really neat idea.
This “The Blair Witch Project,”
It’s so deep.
