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Blair Witch Funkumentary




BLAIR WITCH FUNKUMENTARY
lyrics by Mike Liem
To the tune of Tom Tom Clubís ďGenius of LoveĒ
inspired by the movie ďThe Blair Witch ProjectĒ (1999)

(CHORUS, RAPPED:)
Whatcha gonna do when you get in the woods?
(SOLO RESPONSE, RAPPED, SILLY:) Weíre gonna shoot some film!
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) What will you shoot on that film?
(SOLO RESPONSE, RAPPED, SILLY:) Film, imbecile! Film!

(SUNG, HARMONY:)
Josh and Heather, (SOLO, SPOKEN:) (Thatís me!)
and thereís Michael, our sound man Michael.
In the beginning we three film students
were bugging locals about weird legends.
We took cameras
and went walking . . . and kept on walking.
Itís times like these it sucks Mike tossed our map.
Seems like weíre moving but weíre just circling.

Life in danger,
Weíve been waking the wicked witches.
Theyíre making noises like children calling.
Leaving three stonepiles and stickfigure dollies.
No one can see.
Night is cloaking, cloaking our vision.
Quaking and shaking, like Neve Campbell,
Josh got things slimed on, donít know their intentions.

Upon waking,
Josh was missing. Weíre sure heís missing.
Whatís in those bundled twigs, was he harmed?
Is that him screaming when we call his name?

(SPOKEN: FEMALE NEWS REPORTER BROADCAST ABOUT THE INCIDENT, THE RECOVERED FOOTAGE FROM ONE YEAR AGO, SOME BACKGROUND ON THE LEGEND.)

(SAMPLE OF HEATHERíS MONOLOGUE:) Iím sorry .. Iím sorry ... Iím sorry ... Iím sorry
(REPEAT 4x)

(RAPPED, SILLY:)
Mike is in the corner, I receive a blow,
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film donít show?

(SPOKEN, MALE VOICE:) Man, this house is creeping me out.
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film donít show?

(SAMPLE HEATHER:) Iím sorry ... Iím sorry ... Iím sorry ... Iím sorry
(CHORUS RESPONSE, RAPPED:) Who is the witch that the film donít show?
(SAMPLE HEATHER:) Iím sorry ... Iím sorry ... Iím sorry ... Iím sorry

(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) Whatís that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(SAMPLE OF JOSH:) What the f*** is that?!!!
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) Whatís that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) Whatís that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(SAMPLE OF MIKE:) Turn the *** camera off!!!
(MALE VOICE, SILLY:) Whatís that?!
(SAMPLE OF HEATHER BREATHING FRANTICLY:) huh-huh-huh
(REPEAT 4x)

(SUNG IN HARMONY:)
If you see them,
Please remind them, the three filmmakers,
That this ďThe Blair Witch Project,Ē
Itís, like, a really neat idea.
This ďThe Blair Witch Project,Ē
Itís so deep.

Copyright 1999 Michael A. Liem. All rights reserved.



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